Ranting and Writing – An Intersectional Feminist Committed to Social Justice and Inclusion

Photo Credit: @finnnyc, courtesy of Unsplash

The past few months have been difficult for me both physically and mentally. The dreary weather and rain we have had have not only increased my depression but have also caused me to come down with colds and seasonal allergies. For two weeks, I was sick with a bad cold, which became an ear infection. I had to miss some work and I barely left the house. I was also supposed to be on my period at that time but didn’t have one I think because of the stress my body experienced from the sickness. I thought it was over and I could finally get back to normal but no I was wrong. After a week of being sick-free, I came down with a cold again. It wasn’t as bad as the first time but it was still insanely frustrating. My seasonal allergies have been bothering me on and off as well causing me to cough and use many tissues. My last period hit me extra hard due to not having one the month prior. I was very exhausted the week before and during my period as well as feeling depressed, emotional, and unmotivated. I felt the same the next period. In general, I usually start feeling PMS symptoms about two weeks before the period so most of the month is rough. Despite not having heavy periods due to being on birth control, I struggle a lot mentally before and during my period and sometimes even after.

I have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) a hormonal disorder that can cause depression and anxiety and can make these symptoms worse during menstrual cycles. Other symptoms of PCOS I personally struggle with or have struggled with are irregular and painful periods, weight gain, thinning hair, growing weird thick hairs on my chin, high androgen, and testosterone levels, and high blood sugar. Luckily, I have been able to manage some of these symptoms. I have been on an anti-depressant, Wellbutrin XL for over a year now. Taking supplements like inositol and berberine helped my blood sugar levels get out of the prediabetic range and into the normal range. Due to taking the supplements, my anti-depressant, and having a job that is physically taxing, I finally lost weight after five years of gaining it. Because of minoxidil, my hair is no longer thinning. On the other hand, my mental health is still up and down.

My relationship wasn’t “good enough,” it was a LIE

By Ariana

On January 19, 2023

In Personal Essays

Photo Credit: Brett Jordan, courtesy of Unsplash

Note: This is part two of my article I wrote back in February 2022 titled "My relationship was good enough." Even though what I wrote in that article about my relationship is now invalid, I still want to keep the article up because I think the message is relevant and powerful.

In the words of Sophia Petrillo from Golden Girls:

Picture it! Los Angeles, California. A young 27-year-old was in a better place almost a year after a breakup. But then she finds out that her ex cheated on her during the relationship and everything she thought about him and the relationship was a lie.

A week after my brother got in a bad motorcycle accident and while I was recovering from a cold due to the stress of the accident, I got a message from my ex’s girlfriend on Instagram starting off with “I know you don’t know me….” She was trying to find out the truth about my relationship. She told me that a month prior to messaging me, she found out through Airbnb that my ex lied about when he and I broke up. He initially told her it was in 2020. When she confronted him he lied again saying we broke up in September 2021. He then told her that he cheated on me with her. She said she messaged me because she had this gut instinct that something was still off. To make matters worse, I saw the message in the early morning before I had to go to work. I went to my mom’s room handed her my phone and told her to read the message because I couldn’t fathom what I just read. I then asked her in disbelief, “How am I supposed to go to work right now?” While getting ready to go to work, then in the Uber on the way to work, and then in the bathroom at work, this girl and I were sending each other screenshots that revealed what a piece of trash this man really was. Honestly, I don’t know how I kept it together at work.

Into the Binary They Go: Anti-Trans Legislation Harms Intersex Children

By Ariana

On June 16, 2022

In Journalistic News/Features

Intersex Flag, Photo Credit: Katie Rainbow, courtesy of Pexels

Anti-trans legislation makes it legal to conduct unnecessary surgery on intersex children.

On March 30, 2022, SB AZ 1138, one of the many legislation preventing trans children from accessing healthcare, was signed into law by Arizona Governor Doug Ducey. While this law, makes it illegal for minors to have gender reassignment surgery, there is an exception made for those who have a “sex development disorder including an individual with external biological sex characteristics that are irresolvably ambiguous.” A more preferred term over “sex development disorder” is intersex. Rather than operating out of a medical necessity, this legislation in Arizona and other legislation in several states, allows medical providers to operate on intersex children for the sole purpose of fitting them into the sex binary by assigning them male or female. It has been proved that sex is non-binary and that this surgery is harmful on both a physical and emotional level.

My relationship was “good enough”

By Ariana

On February 19, 2022

In Personal Essays

Photo Credit: Kelly Sikkema, courtesy of Unsplash

Note: I was unsure about discussing more about my previous relationship and the break up but I received a message from someone who wanted me to talk more about the red flags I faced and ignored. I figured I would write a post about this in order to maybe help anyone out there realize their worth and notice some red flags they may have overlooked. To that person out there who inspired me to write this, I hope this helps you. I also want everyone to know that I am not trying to bash or put everything that went wrong on my ex. I know that I am not perfect. I don't think he is a bad person but rather someone who is a lot more broken than they realize.

It is strange to look back on a relationship that has ended, especially one that you did not end yourself. The person that was broken up with is left to process, grieve, and heal all at once while the person who initiated the break up has already figured out what went wrong. For the first few days after the breakup, I found myself replaying the last conversation we had over and over in my head in an attempt to make sense of it all. During the actual break up call, I even had to repeat back everything he was telling me to make sure I retained all that he said. As I mentioned in my reflection, I knew for a few months before the break up that things in the relationship were not great, I even told my mom that I bet by the end of the year we will break up. Even though I was right, I did not see it coming at that moment because I was reassured beforehand that everything between us was fine. Therefore, I was in complete shock that we actually broke up. Though I felt relief almost immediately after the relationship ended knowing the relationship wasn’t meant to be, it took me almost two months after the break up to finally see the truth of what the relationship was and who he was. What I thought was a great relationship with a couple of issues was really what my therapist called, a “good enough relationship.”

A Reflection: Most Vulnerable I Have Been on the Internet

By Ariana

On February 16, 2022

In Personal Essays

It is odd for me to think that for the first time in a long time, or maybe ever, I actually feel good. It is also odd that I feel this way because there are a variety of factors in my life that are not ideal. My mental health has been a rollercoaster. I have a job that does not provide enough hours or pay well enough to have a stable income allowing me to save, move out from home, plan big adventures or buy concert tickets. However, there is a plus that I get to work from home and forever wear sweatpants all day. I have a Master’s degree yet it has been so difficult to find another job. I don’t have friends who live near me and thus have no social life. I have no car and now have driving anxiety because I have not driven in a while. Due to lack of a social life, lack of car, lack of income, working remotely and of course the pandemic, I do not leave my house much or do much in general. I am also starting a journalism certificate program in a couple of weeks and I am going through a breakup after a 5 ½ year relationship. While reading this, I am like why do I feel actually okay when I recently turned 27 and feel like I am starting completely over?

Athletes are Humans: Thank You Simone Biles!

By Ariana

On August 9, 2021

In Research based articles

Photo Credit: Erik Zunder, courtesy of Unsplash

Like many around the world, I was ecstatic to tune into the 2020 Summer Olympic Games in Tokyo. Even though I am not much of a sports fan, I enjoy watching the Olympics. Olympians hold a special place in my heart because of their hardwork and dedication to strive for a dream that only comes every four years. The raw emotion and inspiring stories of adversity is what makes the Olympics so special. I was especially looking forward to watching Simone Biles, aka The GOAT (greatest of all time), lead the women’s U.S Gymnastics team. Since I first saw Biles back in the 2016 Summer Olympic Games in Rio, I have been in awe of her strength, courage, and bravery both on and off the competition floor. My admiration of her grew when she decided not to compete in the team, floor, vault, and uneven bars final events due to her struggles with mental health and the “twisties.” Simone Biles is not only the GOAT, for her amazing gymnastics career but also for walking away from the competition floor to protect and prioritize her mental health.

Spanish Fluency and Latinx Identity: You Don’t Need to know Spanish to be Latinx

By Ariana

On July 29, 2021

In Research based articles

Note: This is the first part of the series “Not Latinx Enough: Examining the Expectations, Assumptions, and Stereotypes of being a Latinx Person in the U.S”

Me performing in a Ballet Folklorico competition

Me performing Ballet Folklorico in 1st grade

Following Mandarin, Spanish is the second most spoken language worldwide. According to a Pew Research Center study conducted in 2011, 37.5 million people in the United States speak Spanish, 2.8 million of them are non- Hispanic or Latinx people. Though English proficiency among Latinx and Hispanic people is rising, with most of those born in the U.S speaking English and more than a quarter of those outside of the U.S speaking English, 35.8 million Latinx and Hispanic people were found in 2015 to be actively speaking Spanish at home. It was reported in the 2011 National Survey of Latinos Dataset gathered by The Pew Research Center that “More than eight-in-ten (82%) Latino adults say they speak Spanish, and nearly all (95%) say it is important for future generations to continue to do so.” Therefore, as these stats show, speaking and knowing Spanish is very prevalent and important to many Latinx people. Thus, one of the ways Latinx people are policed by others within the community and outside the community is through the knowledge of Spanish (or lack of). As mentioned previously, I did not grow up speaking Spanish. My mom did not grow up speaking Spanish as well so she did not have the opportunity to teach my brother and I. Whenever I tell people I am part Mexican and don’t speak Spanish, they are shocked and ask in a judgmental tone why I do not. When researching for this article, I discovered many other Latinx people discussing this same issue.

Introduction to Series “Not Latinx Enough: Examining the Expectations, Assumptions, and Stereotypes of being a Latinx Person in the U.S “

By Ariana

On July 29, 2021

In Research based articles

For my whole life I felt that I am not Mexican enough. It seems like there is a checklist of characteristics you have to have in order to claim a Latinx identity, specifically in my case a Mexican identity. It is both people inside and outside the community who enforce this “checklist.” These characteristics include: speaking Spanish, having a brown skin tone, and having a recent immigration history from yourself and/or your parents into the United States. If any or all of these were seen as the true test to claim a Latinx identity, I would fail. I did not grow up speaking Spanish and my Mexican mom did not grow up speaking it as well. I have fair skin. Though my mom is Mexican and indigenous, she has fair skin as well. I am also not full Latinx, my dad is Italian and so I identify as a white Latinx person. My parents were both born in the United States and my Latinx family has been in the U.S for quite a while. Thus, when I say I am Mexican and Latinx I feel like I am an imposter. I never felt like I fully belong with Latinx communities.

Looking Beyond the Rainbow: An Ally’s Examination of Pride Products and LGBTQ+Advertising

By Ariana

On June 18, 2021

In Research based articles

Photo credit: Karl Bewick, courtesy of Unsplash

What do Doritos, a shopping bag, a sandwich, and mouthwash have in common? All of these random products were decorated and dressed up for Pride Month. Yes, there actually was a sandwich with rainbow packaging from the company M&S Foods. What made this sandwich even more cringey was that it was called a LGBT (lettuce, bacon, tomato, guacamole). There were even rainbow colored “Make America Great Again” products sold on Trump’s website for Pride Month. This came from a man who has supported anti-LGBTQ+ policies such as banning trans people from serving the military, opposing the Equality Act, and appointing Supreme Court judges known to be anti-LGBTQ+. For quite some time, every June, rainbows and slogans like “love is love” are plastered onto marketing campaigns, t-shirts, random household products, and snacks as an attempt to show support for Pride. Many big time corporations like Apple, Levi’s, Target, and Disney have jumped on this bandwagon. I noticed that in the past few years, especially this year, more people are becoming fed up with what they see as preformative activism, being involved in a social movement for one’s own gain, and slacktivism, doing the bare minimum to show care to a cause, like sharing a post on social media.

Idealization of the White Masculine Gay Male: The Latinx Protagonist in Love, Victor is Not Enough to Fix Love, Simon’s Mistakes

By Ariana

On June 10, 2021

In Reviews

The beginning of the new Hulu show Love, Victor exposes the privileges and criticisms of its film predecessor, Love Simon. In the first scene Victor Salazer (Michael Cimino) is sitting on his bed scrolling through Simon Spier’s (Nick Robinson) Instagram. He then messages him angrily saying “Screw you!” making Simon acknowledge the privilege of happiness Simon has with his boyfriend and accepting parents that Victor feels is not attainable for him. Simon is white and from a middle class liberal family while Victor is Latinx and comes from a religious more conservative family. Originally from Texas, Victor moved to Georgia to attend the same school, Creekwood High School, Simon attended a few years earlier. Unlike living in the wealthy part of town like Simon, Victor moves into an apartment with his two younger siblings Pilar (Isabella Ferrerira) and Adrian (Mateo Fernandez) and parents Isabel (Ana Ortiz) and Armando (James Martinez). Unlike Pilar, Victor is open to a new experience at a new school in order to figure out who he is.